Faith, Hope, Love: HOME

I have been praying all month about what one word God might want me to use this year as my one word of focus. Last year I used the word FORWARD. I didn't want to feel discouraged about New Year's Resolutions that seemed to fall short, but rather wanted to encourage myself throughout the year, no matter what, to keep moving forward. 

I can look back at 2018 and feel good about all that we accomplished as a family, while at the same time not feeling disheartened by the things that were maybe started but not brought to completion. 2018, for me, was all about balancing what I could accomplish when I set my heart and mind to it, with those things that, for whatever reason, did not come to fruition. 

As the new year dawned I began on a list of projects I've had rustling around in my head for awhile now. Things like getting the "living room" space we had set up in back quarters switched around into more of a "dining room/home school classroom," cleaning out and reorganizing my closets (still working on this one), and thanks to an awesome sewing machine Christmas gift from my parents making some throw pillows for the couches in the cottage.

The first of several throw pillows I hope to create for the cottage. I spent nine dollars on fabric and re-purposed some old materials I had to make these five pillows. Just call me a frugalista! 

Some pajama pants I made Bug that he and I both are pretty proud of! 

I kept trying to think about what one word I could focus on but nothing was coming to me.

I mentioned to Daddy when I was at their house lately that I would like to have a mudroom style bench with cubbies under it that Campbell can use since his shoes come off as soon as he hits the door most times he comes inside. The next day Daddy was showing me diagrams of little benches and asking me about sizing. He is such a dear and always so willing to indulge my every whim when he can.  I have been planning to soon purchase a few items to spruce up the cottage and make it feel a little more like "us" and knowing that he is making me this cute little bench has spurred my desire to redecorate even more. And now any time I go somewhere to shop I have my eye out for items that I might like to add to the cottage. The other day I saw a wall mounted coat rack that I thought would be perfect to go over the shoe cubbies whenever Daddy is finished with them. It was just a simple design but it had one of my favorite scriptures on it, or rather three words that I know came from the love chapter in 1 Corinthians 13. It was just a white board with the words FAITH, HOPE, and LOVE written on it, but it spoke to my heart. I made a mental note to go back and get it for sure. 

I was starting to feel the pressure of the first month coming to a close without me having a focus word figured out and so I prayed harder that God would reveal to me what He wanted me to use. 

We had a TBRI (Trust Based Relational Intervention) training as a campus lately and I am so glad that we are beginning to shift to this method of raising children. Cliff and I really feel that this is closer to what we have been doing all along anyway. The message of the method gets to the heart of the child and is to meet them where they are in their need with love, rather than discipline. 

Since the training the other day we have been talking through a few ways that we can do just this with our boys, especially with our older boys who will be graduating soon. The time we have left to tell them just how much they are loved seems to be slipping away and we want to embrace every moment we have. 

Bug and Snoopy waiting for the boys to get home on the bus. 

Proud of his completed work. 

Our calendar is full of carpool schedules, athletic events, work shifts, tutoring times and other extra curricular activities but we are praying hard about how to slip in messages of love at every turn. 

I sat down on Saturday and started to write this post but stopped short feeling that I could not write it without knowing what my one word would be. 

And then last night, or rather in the wee hours of the morning just before the alarm went off at 4:50, it came to me in a dream. The message of that coat rack, but with an extra word added at the end. 

FAITH. HOPE.LOVE.
HOME. 

I realized in my hustle and bustle to get the new year started out right I had, in a sense, been creating Home all along.

I started to think about what my parents instilled in me that I still hold onto. I learned a new set of words this last week at another training I went to on Whole Brain Parenting. Intrinsic and Extrinsic. (I'm sure that these words are in my brain somewhere from an ACT prep book decades ago, but they really hit the mark and stuck this time.) This leader, Mr Michael Migura, applied these words to how they relate to memories. Extrinsic being those stories from childhood that you can tell specifically.

Memories, for me, like the time mom had us make a welcome home poster with a rainbow on it for daddy after he'd been away on a trip, teaching us that God keeps his promises.

And the Intrinsic Memories being those emotions attached more vaguely, a sense of belonging, being loved and thinking warmly of your past.

 For me, I realized, a sense of these three words outlined in the famed Corinthians passage. A compass for my journey passed on to me that I can recall, pulling it out of my back pocket at any time I need it. Sometimes there are phrases attached along with it, scriptures, songs, scents, or maybe just specific sounds. Sometimes it is just an overwhelming feeling that I am worthy. I have a future. I have been forgiven. I am unconditionally loved.

When Cliff and I got married we used the passage in 1 Corinthians, as many do, as part of our wedding vows; but I really prayed that true Love would be on display for all in attendance and that our marriage would be steeped in it. Not just the love that we would share together as a couple but the love that we would pass on to our children as well.

What I realized this morning is that because of this compass I have in my heart's back pocket, my sense of belonging is wrapped together with these three words.

I have lived in 5 different states, in 13 different cities, in 19 different houses in my lifetime.
And yet, I'd put my sense of home up against anyone's.

I want to give that to my children as well.
And so that is my one word.
Home.

I am going  to be focusing on the word home as it relates to all my other focus areas (Faith, Family, Cottage Life, Relationships, Health, Creativity/Passion, Education, Organization, Travel, Finances, Joy/Gratitude, Homeschooling/Campbell) throughout the year.

Please pray for us as we commit to providing a cottage setting with this in mind for our BGC boys and for Bug.

Please pray for our new seventh grader, G-man, who we can not name or show pics of, but who is cute as a button, smart as a whip and lots of fun, too.

Please pray for Cliff and I. I haven't publicly talked about this much but we have been considering adoption for awhile now and we received some heart breaking news this last month when one direction we thought we might be going in suddenly changed paths. We are trying to trust that this news does not mean an end to our journey all together but that the Lord will work out the details of bringing home the exact right baby who needs us to be its forever family.

Please pray for our seniors as they begin to transition to College and Career soon. Pray for them to find jobs, to hear back positively from colleges they have applied to and for them to know how very much they are loved!

Pray for all our boys and for our cottage as we all journey on together in Faith, Hope, Love and Home.