She Still Believes She Can...

I recently posted a picture that a friend had shared that has gotten a lot of positive response because I think that so many of us are there. 

THIS IS SO ME THIS FALL, YA'LL! 

I was talking about this quote yesterday with a dear friend who started here at BGC roughly the same time last year in November when we took over in C6. I was so worn out (physically and emotionally) when I was talking to her that I don't know that I really made sense. But I think she knows my heart so she understood. 

I feel like I started out the year with so much momentum. We had taken over right before Thanksgiving in here with our guys and I really felt like we conquered the Turkey Day/X-Mas/New Years trifecta like pros. I made the best resolutions ever and by mid February I was on a roll--Posting regular blogs, waking up early (and staying up after the boys got on the bus), doing my daily BUJO/DEVO, washing my face, dressing for the day, and just generally rocking at life. (haha) All of our boys had passed for the year in school (a miracle for some of them) and we graduated our Senior, Morgan. By the time summer hit I was ready for a vacation of epic proportions for my boys. I had been on the BGC Summer Planning Committee and was so excited about all the fun things we had come up with for our campus. I was fully invested in community on the campus leading women's breakfast clubs, closing out the spring book club and heading up the water aerobics classes in the new season. And speaking of physical fitness, Cliff and I joined the BGC Weight Loss Challenge and were excited to kick butt at that as well. We bought fit bits, new tennis shoes and work out clothes, and by summer's end we had both lost about 15lbs. We had not one but two fantastic summer vaca weekends that the boys really enjoyed. Two of our boys got saved at youth camp and Campbell had an awesome week at Vacation Bible School thanks to his wonderful Neano and Daddy's amazing church. 

 All in all it was a super successful first 8 months in C6. 

And then September hit. I kept telling myself toward the end of August as I began to feel the lethargy set in that when school started up again things would settle down as routine set in, but for some reason I just could not get my energy and momentum back. 

We took some days off in September for Cliff's birthday (our first vacation days as a family since the Spring.) But, somehow even those days were stressful. We have got to learn how to turn off the stress of this campus when we are off. That is something we still have not learned to do even with over three years of being here; but its hard when your job is intertwined with your home and your children that you love. There really is no turning that off completely. You always worry, even when you are away. But we do need to learn to let go a bit more and relax. 

There have been a few unexpected things that have happened, like our dear Carlos leaving BGC and moving, thankfully, to a children's home in Dallas where we know some of the family with whom he will be living. We miss him dearly but are trying to trust that God knows best. On the other side of the coin, we have happily begun to settle in our new young man, Nick, and he is learning to enjoy this crazy, wonderful life with the rest of us. 

I have tried to faithfully home school Bug in a meaningful way, while at the same time be a supportive academics, band and football mom to my older boys.I am trying to relax enough to actually enjoy all of these moments around me, but some days, if I am honest, I am going through the motions and snapping pics to post on social media that tell a tale of a super mom, when in reality I just need a nap. 

Before I knew it October was here and now it is almost over as well. 

It has almost been a year since we plunged head first into this new chapter of our lives in this cottage! 

I have many epic plans (thanks Pinterest for stressing me out unnessarily, yet again) for the upcoming holiday season. But I really am actually excited about it. This is my favorite time of the year and we have grown to love these boys so much. I am trying to take some deep breaths and enjoy both this season and them in stride. 

What I was trying to say to my friend yesterday is that I think its easy to get to the one year mark with something, a new baby, a new job, a new marriage, a new cottage, whatever the case my be and feel an overwhelming sense of, "what have I accomplished??"

But first years with most things are the hardest.

 Just getting through them is an accomplishment in and of itself. 

I am trying to remind myself of that. 

It helps also that one of our boys has Cliff's number saved in his phone now as "dad" and that one of the others gave me a "best mom ever" plaque. It makes rainy nights sitting up at the football field cheering on a team who is losing by three touchdowns and then getting less than adequate sleep to be up for the morning routine at ungodly hours worth it. It is worth the fatigue and the physical, mental and emotional stress, when that kid who drives you crazy some days looks you in the eyes before bed and says, "love you." 

Because that is what this job is all about. We may be zombie tired parents but we are making baby steps forward with these kids who we are called to serve. 

To my other Teaching Parent friends on campus and other parents out there dealing with similar stresses, 

Hang in There! 

You are doing a good job. 

You are making progress that others see even if you can not. 

It's ok to take a nap. 

It's ok to need a few days away from it all.

It's ok to talk to a trusted friend or even a therapist about how stressed out you are. 

It is even ok if everything doesn't go as smoothly as you had planned. 

We will get there in the end no worse for the wear with a few 

bumps and lots of extra love along the way. 

And if today was not ok, we can always, God willing, Get Up and Try Again Tomorrow. 

In the meantime, worn out or not, time marches on, and here are a few pics of  life lately. They are mostly posed but also mostly honest examples of the life we have been living here in C6 these last few months. 

Please continue to pray for us as we try our best to lead this cottage of wonderful young men. 

Please pray for one of our teaching parents on campus who had heart surgery yesterday. 

Please pray for our boys who will be graduating in May and who are facing tough decisions about careers and college. 

Please pray for our singles who work when we are off and for our teamwork together in this cottage. 

I don't know what it is about this pic of Bug that I love so much. Maybe bc it somehow portrays his caught between a big boy and a little boy nature right now with how tall he is getting, but also the sleeves that are too long for him. Or maybe its the look of far off thought in his eyes. He is always thinking this, one. This morning he came walking into the office as I worked and said, "I wonder when I get to Heaven what God will be like? I think he will be something like a father, like Father Abraham, but also a lot like Jesus." All I could do was fight back the tears and agree with him. We had so much fun running through the mud at the Pumpkin patch yesterday and I thank God everyday for the blessing he is.

It was so neat to get to pick grapefruit from off our tree in the side yard yesterday evening; Nick really got into it and enjoyed being able to reach the tree himself without a ladder. He does not always know how to act with his 13 year old mind inside his big body, but  this was one things he could do that made him feel proud. 

My sweet Love with some of the fruits of our harvest. 

I finally convinced Erick to invite his g/f over last night and they helped us carve our pumpkin. She is a sweetheart and we cherish these moments that the boys let us into their lives in a more intimate, family way. 

He wants to be just like his big brothers. 

All of my handsome high school men and their Homecoming mums. 

I love the growth that is captured in the photos of this month's bulletin board we did for the admin building. 

My "work besties" who I could not do this life without! 

Our amazing Erick in his ghee preparing for his Brazillain Jui Jitzu class that a wonderful sponsor has donated to him. He is doing so well in class and this has been a great motivation for him to keep up the good work in classes at school as well! 

Precious Bug and Snoopy at the dog park on one of the days that mommy tried to stop and take some time to relax. 

So proud of Marcus and one of our C3 girls, Selam,  who are taking a CNA class at school. They are both doing really well and thinking of pursuing careers in the medical field after graduation. 

My Bug and his Neano who I could not have gotten through this Fall without!