Pinterest Perfection vs Parenting Fails...

A friend of mine posted a blog article recently on the dangers of the new mommy trend that sort of celebrates and humorizes our daily failures as parents. And it really got me thinking about my life here at BGC and what living this life in a fish bowl where my parenting is literally scrutinized by many has taught me.

First of all, I can laugh at and appreciate most of what I've seen in this mommy/parenting fail trend. We've all been there! And it feels good when on a particularly bad day you open up Pinterest, which, lets face it, most of the time can make you feel like the worst mom ever for not creating masterpieces in your kids lunch boxes, but instead you stumble upon other moms having an equally, if not worse parenting fail moment than you are having.

(Disclaimer do not Google search mom/parenting fails! There really are some horrible people out there who I hope are being reported to CPS after posting this stuff!)

But stuff like this funny pic I found on Pinterest can make me chuckle only because it's so true!!

However, I have often worried that like most things on the internet we have taken it a bit too far (hence my disclaimer) and that the mommy fail trend has become an excuse for lazy, bad parenting.

Please don't mishear me. I'm not trying to "mom shame" anyone here, which is another outcry I've often seen and not always loved, but someone has to stand up for parenting and demand that, especially as Christians, we are trying to set the bar high!

Does that mean Martha Stewart worthy centerpiece at every meal and family photo sessions done by professionals for every stinking occasion? No. Of course not. You have to remember when you see those blogs, and Facebook posts that those are the moments that get displayed. The other more real moments don't always, because life is being lived. (The reason why I didn't get a blog post up for so long on here!) And I guess that's where the trend started. Moms who were tired of only seeing these perfect half truths displayed on their newsfeed called for a celebration of real life. And I love that. I really do.

I guess what I'm saying though is that it shouldn't be celebrated to the point of sin.

Listen to me and hear me when I say that allowing your house to become too messy is a sin. It is a tool of the enemy that can make us depressed, lazy, and drive us insane. I am speaking from experience when I say this as I have just recently confessed this very sin to my mother and vowed out loud so that the enemy could hear me that he would no longer be allowed to try to defeat me and my family in this way! But I also know that the reverse side of this is true as well. I have known some parents who have become so obsessed with a perfectly clean house that it makes them crazy as well.

Here at BGC we have what we call "Tour Days" where they divided up the cottages on campus (and thank goodness they did this) so that on any given month you have a couple days on the calendar that you are the designated cottage that could possibly be toured by volunteers, donors or potential new residents and families. Basically they want the cottage to look like a perfectly decorated, clean home with only magazine worthy reminders that toddlers and teenagers live there. Some "Tour Days" I achieve this (mostly if we leave the house all day and don't touch anything) and some days I don't (literally giving tours and saying, "sorry you have to step over those blocks right there, I have a four year old"). And I think that's normal. I used to stress myself out over it and now I try not to.

There is balance there. And while the balancing act may better some days where all the balls somehow magically seem to stay afloat, while others it's achieved by keeping both feet firmly planted on the floor, I think the balance is the key thing.

We also have an apartment attached to the cottage where Cliff, Campbell and I have our own little rooms and sanctuary from the hustle and bustle of cottage life. Unlike the rest of the house this teaching parent apartment goes mostly unseen. The girls are not allowed back there and neither are tours etc..

So for the better half of the year we have spent in Cottage 3, truth be told, this was my balancing act, where I kept the cottage that was seen perfect, and the apartment that was unseen fell by the wayside.

I realized recently that this was not true balance at all.

I was still making myself crazy trying to achieve perfection in the cottage while driving myself even more crazy every time I stepped to the back apartment and into the mess. And I'm not alone in this. Most teaching parents I talk to on campus have described to me this same kind of scenario.

I think most of us do this in one way or another. We all have a closet, or one room where we don't like to let guests go. And we do this with other parts of our lives, too. We show up to church perfectly dressed and smiling but inside we are still replaying that fight we had with our spouse in the car on the way over. We tuck away the hidden details of our lives as we smile and nod and say, "Good morning, I'm fine. How are you?"

So what am I saying? Because it sounds like I am contradicting myself I know. Which is it? Do we tuck away the hidden mess or display it? Do we make ourselves crazy trying to keep up with unattainable perfection or do make excuses for everything under the sun and never get around to cleaning up anything?

I have done it all and I can honestly say the best answer is yes, and no and all of the above.

There is really no tried and true always perfect answer except never give up trying to be best the parent you can be.

Some days that means you will achieve a Pinterest worthy moment and some (read MOST) you will not. But that also means that no matter what was or was not achieved in the day before, the new sunrise brings with it new chances to shine.

The enemy wants nothing more than for Godly parents to fail. It doesn't matter if he achieves this because we are drowning in a sea of laundry so deep it makes us crazy or if it is achieved because laundry takes precedence over our interactions with our children. We must be vigilant to keep him out at all cost.

If we are truly going to be Godly parents in this world where we are so easily swayed one way or the other we must be willing to speak up for our families in the face of the enemy. We must let him know in our prayers, in our leadership, and in our actions that we believe in family. We must not buy into the lie that we must be perfect, but we must also not stop chasing after the example that Christ set for us of perfection.

Thank you so much for your prayers for us as we endeavor to do just this!

And as always here are a few more specific prayer requests and pics at the end!

For Cliff and I as we pray through some major decisions concerning our family.

For the new girls, Kaleigh and Bailey, to continue to adjust well and to feel a part of our family.

For the girls as they come upon the close of the first six weeks that they can work hard and accomplish great things.

For Campbell and I as we home school together.