Godly Discipline for When it's Hard...

Mother's Day Picnic @ the park. Bug really enjoyed eating outside and said each meal since, "have a picnic!"

Today is one of those days when it is hard to be a parent.

I found myself on Pinterest just now scouring the internet to find ways to pour scripture out over the children in my care because I just felt so defeated after a long and trying day. I am such a people-pleaser by nature and so discipline can be very hard for me.

(Though the kids may say different! Haha!)

But I truly do struggle with it.

However, as I scrolled it was as if the Lord reminded me that sometimes handing out the discipline that we have had to heap, in large doses it seems lately, is also a way of bathing our children in scripture and Godly parenting.

I read somewhere the other day, and I hate that I can not remember where, an interesting article on the old "spare the rod, spoil the child" scripture that gets used many times to defend spanking. And while I am a believer that sometimes a good little swat or two on a naughty bottom is not necessarily a bad thing, this article was particularly enlightening to me. It suggested that the scripture we all quote was actually referring to scripture itself when it used the word "rod" and not some sort of tool used for spanking. That thought struck home with me in some way and so I have begun to implement it with our son Campbell. (And though we can not and would never use corporal punishment on the girls in the cottage, it got me thinking of different ways to discipline them, too.)

One thing I have done with Campbell, who is almost four, particularly when he is whining and crying over small things, is that I have taught him to say the Fruits of the Spirit. He is so cute spouting them all off in succession. This is good, I think, for multiple reasons.
First of all, he is learning scripture and I am literally using the "rod" of scripture on him. Secondly, it is calming him to have to stop whining and think of the verses he has memorized so that he can quote them to me. Third, it gives me an opportunity to teach to whichever fruit he needs at the time; a big one we have taught to with the whining is self-control. And lastly, it reminds me as he sweetly says it that I need to be practicing patience with him, something that is easy for me to forget in the heat of the moment.

With the girls it can be harder sometimes to find creative, Godly ways to discipline. We have had to show some tough love on things like girls not trying at school, not doing things in the cottage like chores that they know they are supposed to do and not using kind words with us and with others. I hate feeling like I am spouting the same, sad song and verse over and over to them. We use "skills" that we teach the kids along with corrective teaching and praising techniques that are accompanied by positive and negative consequences as part of our plan for each of them. They are a wonderful tool, but sometimes I crave more for them. I long to be able to know scripture so readily that it flows forth from my mouth in every moment ready to teach, to admonish and to show love. I am still learning and growing in this area as well. I am trying to slowly pair up the "skills" we teach to with scripture and pray I can learn these lessons along with the girls.

Here is one of the Skills we are working on with the girls that I have written out with the verse we have paired with it. I kind love this pic of it sitting beside Bug's pirate ship, under the Wii. It reminds me that these are children we are teaching these important life skills to, and that patience and endurance is very necessary in our approach.

Also, this last month we have learned that sometimes Godly discipline happens first in our own hearts and lives as parents. Sometimes learning when not to say something, when to let them make their own mistakes, and when to let it go is also necessary for growth, particularly in our older girls. This is very hard. But we ask for your prayers as we discern this crooked path of parenting children in
our home.

I am reminded of a verse that Daddy taught me when I was a very young girl.
1 Timothy 4:7 "Discipline yourself for the purpose of Godliness."
Lord, that I may remember those words myself.

God is good each new day that comes.
We are reminding ourselves of this even on the hard days.
His promises are true and faithful even when our parenting is not.
He is steadfast and strong, gentle in all the right moments and always unconditionally loving.
Lord, let us come close to Your grace and mercy that You show us through Your Godly discipline.

Prayer Requests:

Pray for Billie as she graduates at the end of this month and transitions onto our college and career program. Pray for her to have wisdom in decision making. Pray for her and us as this parting of ways can sometimes not be easy.

Pray for Kelly as she transitions into being the oldest girl in our cottage as Billie leaves. Pray for tough decisions that she also has to make. Pray for us as we guide her and help her to make the best possible choices.

Pray for Selam that she can finish this school year strong. Pray that she can focus in on the things that matter and put aside the things that do not.

Pray for Brianna as much is still going on with her family at home. Pray for her to understand her part in it all and to be able to let go where she needs to so that she can grow into the young lady that the Lord is making her to be.

Pray for Brandie as she learning to step up and be a leader in our cottage in many ways. Pray for the frustration that this sometimes causes as she must choose higher ways. Pray for good and right decisions to be made on her behalf by the powers that be in her future so that she can be best served and so that she, too, can grow to be all that God wants for her to be.

Pray for Erin as she learns to be a young woman each new day. Changing from an adolescent to a teen is hard and she is doing great at it, but pray for her continued success at these major life milestones. Pray that she can gain self control on a better level and that this can have a profound impact on her day to day life.

Pray for Campbell as we are trying to encourage his speech development. He is such a smart little guy and so much is going on in his head all the time, but we want to teach him to train his thoughts on what is being said and asked of him so that his conversation patterns can develop and grow. Pray for me as I do school with him that I can find good resources to encourage him to learn and grow in this way.

Pray for C and I as we do this job everyday. It is so easy to get burned out quickly. Pray for us to have the stamina to endure so that we, too, might be able to finish out this school year with the kids strong and go into the busy summer with renewed energy. Pray for our family time to be meaningful and relaxing. Pray for our marriage that we could lean on each other and find the time we need to be together.

Pray for the new girls who will be joining our cottage in the near future. Though we do not yet know who they will be we know that the Lord does and so we can begin to lift them up in prayer. Pray for whatever circumstances are going on in their lives right now that will ultimately cause their families to decide to place them here. Pray for us to have wisdom in discerning who we will take into the cottage and into our family.

One of the things I love about teaching Bug from home is that even though we have a little preschool area set up in our apartment, if need be, our "school" can happen anywhere. Here he is doing flash cards in the kitchen as I unload groceries and begin dinner prep.

Its so fun to have a little doggie pal by your side as you learn at school!

With it being such busy, busy month we finally had a chance to get our birthday sponsors over to celebrate our birthday girls the other night. Though we had done our own cottage celebrating on their actual B-Day it was fun to celebrate them again and have a little ice cream social!