Words for Sabbath: Going All Along

 

     

Some keep the Sabbath going to Church –

I keep it, staying at Home –

With a Bobolink for a Chorister –

And an Orchard, for a Dome –

Some keep the Sabbath in Surplice –

I, just wear my Wings –

And instead of tolling the Bell, for Church,

Our little Sexton – sings.

God preaches, a noted Clergyman –

And the sermon is never long,

So instead of getting to Heaven, at last –

I’m going, all along.

-Emily Dickinson

This has long been a favorite poem of mine and, in fact, when my sister and I first moved into our house in Clinton (MS) we wrote this out on the walls along the sides of the living room and down the hall.

My father is a pastor, and so going to church at our house growing up was a given. We were there every time the doors were open like it was a second home, and it was. Church has always been like a place of solitude and comfort to me, until it wasn't .

I think as a young adult that is what drew me to this poem by Dickinson. The realization that I could find this kind of solace and peace at home with the Lord was freeing in some ways. Though I do not at all promote the idea that it is a good thing to forsake the gathering together of the body as described in Hebrews 10:25, I can attest to the fact that also making your home a sanctuary is a very good thing, indeed.

One of the things that I  have learned growing up in the church in the way that I have is that they are not perfect. Never has there ever been a church that was. And if you think your church is perfect you are either lying to yourself or you haven't been there long enough to see its flaws. And the reason churches aren't perfect is that no man is either.



I can find a lot of comfort in that, but there can be a lot of hurt, too.

Imperfect people can do pretty rotten things.

That's just human nature.

Imperfect people can get hurt.

That's just life.

Imperfect people can choose to worship together.

That's called GRACE.

Lately, I've seen a lot information, blog posts and articles floating around out there about how our generation has abandoned the traditional church we grew up in, in alarming numbers. Many of these well meaning, I'm sure, articles try to shame believers into why its not ok for them to abandon the church even if they have been hurt by it.

Most end with a sort of blanket "church is not about you" statement and while I can get behind this in theory and see where they are coming from, its a two-sided coin.

Church is about me. It just is. Its not just about me, but if I can't put myself --my thoughts and my feelings-- into the equation then I might as well be a robot acting out a pre-described formula.

Church is about my relationship with the Lord,

 how I choose to worship and serve Him ( or how I answer His call to do so),

 and how I fellowship with other Christians.

Is it mostly about God? Sure.

 Should I still worship God even if I don't feel like? Ideally.

But can God handle it if I don't at times know exactly how to wrap my human heart around loving and worshipping Him? 

Absolutely.

Because it is about me, but its more about how I choose to react to church and to other Christians even when I am hurt by them, if choose to love them (and God) anyway. 

To continue acting as Christ even when I'm met with the devil.

To act in love to them.

To forgive.

To sometimes let go, move on, and find a more peaceful way

 that facilitates further my relationship and the relationship of others with the Lord.

 What articles like these don't seem to try to do is figure our WHY our generation is leaving the traditional church in droves.

 One such article I read interviewed the musical artist David Bazaan to whom I listened in college and who was formative in many ways in my adult spirituality. In it he says basically, and I paraphrase, that everyone he knows that grew up in the Southern Baptist Church of our youth is either now an orthodox believer or an atheist. And this is true for me of what I have seen amongst my own friends as well.

So why this disconnect? What has the SBC and other church conventions like it done to see so many of this generation of believers abandon it for more traditional denominations or worse, lose sight of God all together?

My theory goes back to that imperfection I spoke of earlier.

But really that is a can of worms for me to open, perhaps, another day.

Today, I don't have the spiritual or emotional energy to go there.

Here at BGC our cottages are all a part of different churches around the Houston area that support us as an organization. So, basically, we are assigned a church.

And in many ways that has been a welcome thing to us as family. No more trying to figure out if this church is the right fit, or if that church meets our needs. Instead its just been like you will go here because these people have lovingly opened their arms to us and they are a Christ preaching church where you CAN worship. End of story.

 And crazy as that sounds, I have found it very easy to worship when the options for something just a little different the next block over have been taken away.

 It becomes less about the style of music that is playing, and more about the fact that I'm choosing to sing to the Lord.

Its less about who the preacher is and more about the fact that Christ is preached.

Its less about the four walls of a building and more about letting down the walls of my own heart.

I can't help but go in my mind to places like Africa or China where options are limited and people come in droves to worship wherever and however they can.

Last Sunday after church I actually had a strange thing happen. This woman I had never met came up to me after the service and told me how much she enjoyed sitting in front of me and hearing me sing during the service. I thanked her but went away a little perplexed. While my voice is not bad, its not what you would call great either and I finally came to the conclusion that

what she had heard was my heart.

I had been able to pour it out to my heavenly Father and she had been blessed in the hearing of it.

And why could I do this? Not because this was a perfect church, or a perfect praise band, or perfect worship service, but because I had prepared within my own home, and within my own heart a place of spiritual solitude where I could worship no matter what.

Churches do hurt people. Sometimes people choose not to go back when they do.

Sometimes change is needed.

But I thank God that in my family the proclamation of Joshua has always been true,

"As for me and my House, we will serve The Lord." (Joshua 24:15)

No matter where we are, what stage in the great adventure we are on, whether saddling up our horses or resting in green pastures beside still waters, church happens first at home and in our hearts. And thus it can also happen anywhere and everywhere else He leads us.

This Sabbath morning I pray for all the imperfect churches out there. I pray for their hearts at home and in the pews.

I pray for all the pastors and leaders who shepherd them, trying to keep peace amongst the flock.

I pray for my own home here at BGC and the hearts that Cliff and I lead each week, that we may lead them to the same place of peace and solace in the arms of the Father upon which we ourselves have long rested.

I pray also for the two people who have shepherded me the longest, that as they rest today finding solace in a new (old) home, they would find comfort in the writings upon the wall, though painted over, there beneath the layers reads a comforting prose,

"So instead of getting to Heaven at last, I'm going all along."

May they see a glimpse of it today.