Thus far the experience we have had here on the ranch while good, has sort of been practice for what our hearts are longing for more long term.
As I explained in a previous post on a day in the life (http://missionmommyjourney.blogspot.com/2015/05/a-day-in-life-on-ranch.html)
we are what is called singles right now and basically we are the temporary relief parents for two cottages when the primary house parents in those cottages go on their four days off.
Our ultimate goal in working here at BGC is to one day become primary house parents in our own cottage. Not only will this mean a bigger attached apartment for us to live in (right now we are getting by in a very small, one bedroom with the three of us) but it will also mean that we get to set the rules for the home, set our own tolerances, make our own schedules and most importantly, begin building relationships as parents with the kids in our cottage that will be more lasting.
As we began on this journey our goal was to foster relationships as close to an adoptive parent-child relationship as possible.
However this is hard as singles because not only do we spend limited time with the kids (only four day shifts at a time) but we also know that this is temporary time with them until we do get our own cottage.
This is also proving difficult as we do build relationships, no only with the kids, but with the primary house parents for whom we work, also. Its hard to build those relationships with them, which are growing ever stronger with each shift, knowing that soon those ties will be broken, at least a bit, when we are assigned our own cottage.
A lot of these kids have experienced many people in their young lives come and go. Not only have parents and other family members been in and out of their lives, but also by the nature of this program here at BGC, many have lost teaching parents that they love, as well. While BGC tries to keep primary teaching parents for an extended period of time (and most do stay on average about five years, with some going on ten plus years here) the singles are usually a different story. Because singles are usually either people like us who are training and waiting to become primaries or they are young adults just out of college looking for a job to work with youth for a short time before grad school or starting their own families or what have you, the singles tend to be not so permanent fixtures. I hate this for the kids and I hate to do this in the near future to the kids we are working with. But we are hoping that even when we do get our own cottage we can still occasionally pull some of the kids from these cottages where we have worked as singles and do things with them to continue those relationships.
And we do know that this is a great time of learning for us now. Some of the other places that we looked at before making the decision to come to BGC we would have jumped right into the role of primary house parent, and though that would have had its advantages too, we know that we will be more prepared to handle our own cottage because of this time as singles.
Even things as simple as organization and cleaning tips that we have learned during this time we know will be greatly beneficial to us in the future!
In the meantime, however,
we do long ever so much for our own cottage.
We believe (and maybe its just wishful thinking, though we have been told this by others on campus, too) that they would not have hired us if they did not know that a primary position was coming up soon. They have got to know that a family of three in a small one bedroom apartment is not ideal, right?
What this means is that one of the primary teaching parents who is here in their own cottage now must decide that it is the right time for them to leave, in order for us to step in and take over.
From what we have been told usually if this going to happen it will happen in the summer time as student(s) who have maybe been in a couples home for years that they have grown very close to, graduate. Kind of, I guess, the same way a youth minister may try to wait until a certain class of kids graduates before he moves on to another church or role.
There are several families who have had graduating seniors this year, both cottage kids and a few biological house parent's kids as well. So the rumors are flying around campus about who might be leaving and who might be taking over which cottages.
Its a funny thing to walk around campus and see kids from other cottages and wonder, are you someone that I will one day love as a son or daughter?
For now, this is our prayer and our heart's desire. Not that we would want anyone to grieve the loss of someone that they have built relationships with in the past, but
that through The Lord's perfect timing He would
bring children into our lives that we might begin to nurture and love as our own.
Please pray for us in the meantime that the relationships we do build will be strong enough to stand the future tests that may come their way if and when a change happens.
Pray for our endurance as we navigate our way through following the rules and established norms of someone else's household until such a time when we get to set those standards for ourselves.
Pray for us to be able to get proper rest to be able to work and feel good about what we are doing even when sleeping conditions (a full sized bed for all three of us, two wide bodies and a toddler) are less than ideal!
Pray for us to see the positive, lasting impact that we are making in the lives of the kids we come into contact with each day, even when its hard to see it.
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