A Little Bug Off and On the Ranch...

Bug spent an extra week at home in Mississippi with his Neano and Daddy-O while we were here at BGC for training and as eluded to in our former post's prayer requests this was hard on us all. In his almost three years I think mommy and he had only spent a couple of nights away from each other until this week long separation for training. 

I am eternally grateful to my parents for being willing and available to keep him. The alternative would have been temporary  daycare with all new faces, and in this last year he has had so much change that we were glad to have another more familiar option. Bug loves his Neano and Daddy-O so much and it made my heart happy to know that though he missed us, he was in a place where he felt safe and loved. 

But my little mommy heart was a different story! Though the week without him was busy as we jumped into learning what being a house parent is all about, it was also hard when things did slow down and I had time to miss my little man. Nights were especially hard as I have grown accustomed in the past months we've spent at mom and dad's house to sleeping in the same bed with him. (He's out grown his crib, so he and mommy shared the guest bed downstairs since we didn't yet trust him to sleep upstairs by himself.) I have gotten used to little snuggles and sleepy kisses from my Bug in the night and I think I missed those most. 

 

 

And so the reunion was sweet to say the least. Bless them, they came through some heavy rain and even hail on the way here, but they made it and the time with them and our precious Baby Bug with us was wonderful! We were able to integrate him slowly into our work in the cottages with the children during training and this was learning experience both for him and us of how we will balance our normal routine as a family of three with the demands of accommodating and welcoming an additional eight children in our home. But in these last few weeks he has been such a little trooper, adjusting so well and being a good friend to all the new children he is meeting. We are so proud and beam with pride each time one of the other adults on campus tells how well he is doing; I am figuring out quickly that God has equipped his precious little heart and spirit for this work, too.

 

 

 

But all of this attention on Bug, missing him and loving being with him again, has gotten me thinking often about the children here and their mothers at home or wherever they may be. Each of them has different story that we are learning slowly as we get to know them each individually, but I know even before I hear the story that each represents a hurt I can almost not even fathom.

 

In the first week that I was here I missed my Bug dearly, yes, but I now believe that the Lord was preparing my heart to understand the hearts of some of the mothers and fathers of the children that I will serve. I made the decision to let Bug stay with his Neano and Daddy-O that first week believing it was what was best for him in that particular situation, and so have many of these parents come to that same conclusion. It could have be easy for me to stand back and judge from a distance a decision that I do not understand, but after that week away from Bug, I am finding myself more sympathetic to those who make tough choices for the betterment of their children.

 

Poverty. Sickness. Mental Illness. In some cases even Death.

 

Whatever the circumstances may be, each of these children represents at least one heart that is hurting due to  separation.

 

It is my prayer as we navigate this course daily fighting through the exhaustion, the learning curve, and the sheer will that it takes to keep our sanity managing a house with nine children in it, that somehow amidst the struggle we will feel a little flickering in our hearts that reminds us why we are here. Each of these kids is a longing in someone's heart. And each of these kids also has a heart that is hurting as it yearns to feel loved.

 

Above all else we are here to love, not to replace the one that is being missed, but to supplement the choices that brought them here with hearts that are open to serve in whatever capacity we can.

 

 

Prayer Requests:

Please pray for Campbell as he continues to learn to adjust to his environment

 

Please pray for us as we continue to adjust to our new routine and that we can find rest and renewal when necessary

 

Please pray for those in our care to understand why we are here and to see our hearts as we try to minister to them